I left everything. and ran.
A stubborn face streaking past the stares.
I tripped, I fell. Through the cracks.
Through the crowds.
My eyes watered.
I made way.
Bruised and muddied, my feet bloodied,
I reached.
I'm here to save you, I said.
You looked without speaking.
And then you spoke without looking-
I don't need saving today.

Paraya Dilli

I've lived in Delhi for 18 years 5 months and 6 days now, which is to say all my life, and when the time to finally leave this place for college is due very soon, I feel I can view it with the eyes of an impersonal observer, detaching from the lens almost the kind of aching fondness a parent feels for a child. The tyke is spoilt and misbehaving, sure - but to not love him with all one's heart is unthinkable. On the other hand, an onlooker might think the child to be a lousy, indisciplined, tantrum-throwing faggot from all he's seen of him. And an onlooker's role is exactly what I'll don today.

The votes are in and the result is unanimous. Those whose who did not express any opinion were too darn busy with their lives to pay attention to any plebiscite. Delhi is a cold city.
The old saying 'Dilli Dilwaalon ki' seems to be a redundant expression now, employed rarely, if ever, that too only by radio jockeys who are payed to sound cheery and seem as if they're permanently boarded up on cloud #9.'Pathhar-dilwaale sounds more like it' exclaimed a friend of mine darkly when were talking about moving off to college. I was taken aback. I had never thought of it that way, but I realised I might have erred in my judgement of New Delhi as the best place to live. This realization proved to be an ominous warning in the next couple of days. The owner of a dhaba fiercely yelling at a boy who works him, an autowallah refusing a ride to an all too visibly limping old lady with an indifferent, almost lazy wave of the hand, grown men squabbling loudly, almost coming to blows in clinic queue (Relax morons, you're not gonna die of gingivitis or if you don't see the dentist within the next 5 minutes)- such is commonplace. And don't even get me started on road rage.

What comes to mind if you think of Delhi? The tasty street-food? Cute girls at North Campus? The Indian fashion capital? The capital of the Government of India? But what of Delhi's personality? Hmm. Cold. Selfish. Ruthless. What about the generosity and unity one associates with Mumbaikars, the amiability of the Kolkatans, the work-ethic of Chenaiites and the open-mindedness of Bangaloreans? Maybe it all seems that way because I've never lived in those places. But this city could still learn a lot from it's cousins. If there is a thing to be said about Delhi, it is that it teaches one how to survive. When to stand up and shout when you've been wronged. To get up from the ground, dust oneself and carry on. To deal with adversity head-on and to speak up for your rights. Because sometimes, if you don't take care of yourself, no one will. Everyone in this city is suspicious of everyone else and in all this suspicion, skepticism and self-centeredness compassion and bonhomie lose their way to the outward consciousness, words and actions. Come on Dilliwaalas, you can do better. Show your soft side. Be patient. Take time out from your self-bubble to help a stranger when such a situation presents itself, without hesitating. Smile. And watch New Delhi smile back.

College beckons, the bags are almost packed and my boat's about to set sail. i'll miss you Delhi, you beautiful twisted city.


*The poem 'If' goes like this - If you can dream and not make dreams your master/ If you can think and not make thoughts your aim/ If you can meet with triumph and disaster/ And treat those two impostors just the same/ If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken/ Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,/ Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,/ And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools.
You'll be man, my son. Master of you're own destiny, someone who's independent and stands up for what's right
*I remember reading a quote "It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees"
*After the (phenomenal) Puffin Quiz on Thursday, I came home to watch 'Rang De Basanti' on cable. That is one film that never fails to give me goosebumps. In fact the first time I saw it, I cried.
*Today is India's 63rd Independence Day.

All this just looks like vaguely related bits of information like a collage of newspaper headlines - their only claim to oneness is that they were all printed together in the morning paper. So what's the connecting link between the bits I mentioned at the start of the post. It's the fact that I'm a coward. Not that I haven't done foolhardy or ostensibly brave acts. I've had a large share of them and that's not what I'm talking about. What I mean is standing up for someone or something that's right. Standing up against injustices and atrocities. Extending a hand of solidarity to the oppressed as a way of saying 'Hey man, I'm with you'. I envy some people for doing just that like dad, my brother, mom and plenty of my friends. Utkarsha on Thursday was about to tell off a guy who yelled at us to stand in a line when we were to go into the Siri fort Auditorium for the quiz. I was the one who put a hand to his shoulder and said 'Let it pass, man. We don't want a scene here.' Now that I think about it - What is a scene exactly? A Commotion? A tantrum? Any act in a public place which invites attention to it by virtue of its improperness? Yeah that's it. And sometimes that's what's really needed. What if I hadn't stopped Utkarsha and had let him tell off the guy for speak impolitely? Many more who had the same thought on their minds would have spoken out too. The man might have realized his mistake and treated people better in the future. but that didn't happen. For all i know, the guy might be yelling at someone this very moment, not caring how he feels.

This independence day, we're having lovely weather - a quiet cool drizzle and a light breezy morning. As I stand outside in the beautiful weather, thinking that I should be at my cousin's place today flying kites like last year, another thought follows. I take an oath - To stand up for what I believe in, in any situation, no matter what. I also thought up the LIFE quote for August. It's a little harsh but that's how I feel right now -

"Stoicism is just a glorified term used to refer to the slow painful defeat of unassertive fools."

Happy Independence Day to all. Take an oath today to be the best you can be - for yourself, the country and your world.

On a lighter note - A word, Timothy


Another post in bullets. There's a lot of stuff happening which I want to write about, none so important so as to overshadow the rest and deserving of an entire post for itself. So I'll start now.

1> For all those who read my last post, you know that it was about talking to oneself and how it's (unsurprisingly) perceived to be rather weird by them normal folks. Well, have you heard of Wondermark? It's a pretty cool webcomic (nothing phenomenal but good) and today I found something pertaining to that theme in my previous post (for the one's who missed it, get to it. Nao.)

Also, I found a great song also fitting perfectly to that idea - It's Crazy by Gnarls Barkley. The vid's good fun too, inspired by the symmetrical inkblot shapes of the Rorschach inkblot test (a projective technique used to bring out unconscious emotions and desires out into the consciousness. Just saying). Here it is, you'll love it if you're anything like me.

2> Heard of the film 13 Tzameti? It's the French noir film on which Luck is supposed to be based. Loosely, according to the director. I saw a snippet of the original film some weeks ago on CNN-IBN's movie review show hosted by Rajeev Masand - The scene was in black and white, with a group of men standing in a circle in an ill-lit room. Each has a gun in his hands pointed at the temple of the person standing next to him. And then, everyone pulls the trigger simultaneously; and as the shots sound, the screen goes dark. Like Group Russian roulette. *
Now that I've seen that, I have to watch the movie. I've already read the wikipedia article, though it doesn't matter much (though it does a bit because there's a twist in the end).

* I remember having done something like that. Five of my friends and me held hands and the guys at the ends each held a part of a prank clamshell mobile phone which delivers shocks to anyone who opens it. I remember the tension and the consequential shock. It was electric (bad pun, i know).

3> Seen that ad? The one with the singing rubber duckie and them anthropomorphized dancing objects. Yeah with that funny curly-haired guy, that's the one. Love that background song. I found out that its an actual song and not just made for the ad (like in the Fiat Linea 'stuck' ad). Anyway the song is a tweaked version of Your love keeps liftin me (higher and higher) by Jackie Wilson. Listen to the full song if you want to. Really energising and positive lyrics, I give it that.

4> Internet deviations have always welcomed bored and wandering surfers with open arms, promising hours of lols. Me included. But bro disapproves. Somehow he seems to think its inappropriate and immature for me to laugh (continuously for 2 minutes approximately) at something like this -

Now c'mon. How can you not find that funny? It's not that I'm dumb or immature or something but its the juxtaposition of images or perfect captions for some pictures which tickles my funny bone, probably you could call me someone who laughs at all kinds of stuff without thinking about what others would think of me.
Above picture sourced from

5> I participated in both the MOD quiz and DPS Noida's Dip Pulse (Not a very good name, especially if you say it fast enough). Didn't win either (got frustratingly laughably close to respectable finishes both times) but I really learnt a lot. Expands my mind and supplements my small talk ('My brother just bought a new watch'
'Is it a Rolex?'
'Hell n-'
'You know, the only digital Rolex ever produced is the timekeeper Rolex in the Wimbledon centre court'
'O really? Wow. I didn't know.'
'Now you do'*smirk*
Neither did I a few days ago. Well I saw Anuj at both places and Ankur at the MOD quiz. Ankur was like I'd imagined him - brisk, serious and busy. But I thought he'd possess a more forceful and commanding voice. Btw, I think is a very very useful information portal, if nothing else.

6> Have been reading Paulo Coelho's new one The Winner Stands Alone for almost a month now, reading in short stints of 5 minutes on average whenever I get the time. Philosophical at most times, eye-droopingly boring at others, but it's impressively interspersed with streaks of well-organized brilliant prose.

7> Mid-semester exams are now over, and don't worry i won't give you an inferiority complex by posting my marks this time (just kidding, Ani would infact get something of the opposite). But I've improved in everything (except English. No comment.), thanks to listening in class and of course Halliday Resnick and Walker.

8> Twist in the tale stories have always been my faves. That's something which attributes Roald Dahl's macabre short stories to the exclusive list. That is one reason I think the Perry Bible Fellowship is a phenomenal webcomic. You can never guess how's it going to end with the last panel. A nice, suitable and immensely satisfying twist, I say, is what every novel needs.

Honouring tradition

As my brother put it, mid exam posts are almost always the tradition with student bloggers. Even if I haven't written a post in a month during vacations with all sorts of ideas running through my head, nothing beats the nudging compulsion to write a post during exam time (especially when you're bang in the middle of it) and you really have no inkling whatsoever on what to write.

I'm over with 2 exams and there are still three big ones left to go. All back-to-back; so this is the only time I have to write and check comments. The days now are packed with school, Aakash, studying at home and extra tuition top it all off. Walking to tuition takes up much of time but since I've never minded walking it's alright. Today a funny thing happened on my way over there. Walking on the street on a busy afternoon, I passed a bunch of people standing near a shop. Nothing strange about that, save for the fact that they were staring at me. I wondered why and walked on .
Then. To my slight embarrassment and a 'what is up with me?!' moment later, I realised that I had been talking to myself. Murmuring to myself whatever I was thinking. A soliloquy like one sees in romantic theatrical performances. Hastily in order to put right the situation, I reached my far hand (in the the side opposite to where they were standing) towards my ear and started speaking even more loudly. They must've thought I was talking to someone loudly on a mobile or something in a crowded street. Heheh. Fortunately acting like loud moron is considered normal. I think I almost saw one guy's hand withdrawing from his trouser pocket. Reaching for his phone to dial the nearest hospital, I figure.
So I've put up a poll, this is actually something I've been wondering for quite a lot of time.

Q. Do talk to yourself?

1> Yeah, whenever I'm alone or free.
2> Occassionally, unconsciously
3> Only when I feel like hearing myself say something.
4> The answer is No, I'm not a nutcase.

I'll have the poll open for a few weeks so that I get maximum responses.

Ok then, I'm off for now, back to The Molecular basis of Inheritance, I'm afraid.


An ideal post, according to the Big Book of Everything, should be a melange of ideas, with a lot of bullets, some bits about your life, a few pj's, a nice quote, some poetry, all rounded off with a good song suggestion. Today, I am going to vie for that perfect post.

Well then, I'm at my fag end of my summer holidays and I'm not proud to say I haven't done anything at all. Except maybe for my having taken up squash and my new love for 12th class physics courtesy the three fantastic gents Mr Halliday, Mr Resnick and Mr Walker who wrote one very interesting book Fundamentals of Physics. Other than that I've watched a whole lot of movies; I just watched The Hangover today, no review, I'm not an expert critic :P. But let's just say it was a very engaging movie with a couple of real good laughs. Anyway the weather is great. I've changed my mind about summer being my fave season. It's summer in winters and winters in summers and monsoon for the rest of the year. I've also taken up games on facebook - Mafia Wars and Cube Field both highly addictive and extremely time consuming. Also I watched almost every A Bit of Fry and Laurie sketch there is on youtube. Pure british Comedy. Watch it or you'll be missing something good.

In my free time I've made pj's(poor jokes) and p + ij's (complex pj's; thus represented because It's Really poor and the joke part is pretty much imaginary). Here's some which I made on my way to tuition one day-

Q. The Liver said something funny and everyone but the skin laughed. Why?
A. Because it was an inside joke.

This next one is strictly for Biology people -
Q. Why is Lycopodium a party animal?
A. Because it's a club moss.
HaHa, there we can be funny too.. Oh well, it's not that great. But at least we're funnier than engineers.

Q. Why did the SMS go to the party with a saucepan on his head?
A. because nobody used Caps anymore.

Ok this is the last one. Don't cry. I know,I know these jokes are AWESOME - But that's how life is, all Awesome things come to an end.
Q. Why was the mountaineer annoyed with his maps?
A. Because they were not to scale.

It's the first time I've missed the life quote of the month but since I'm just a day late, I guess I can be forgiven.

Doing nothing takes a lot of time.

That's included in the definition of summer holidays for most people including me. Poetry time now, I think, here is a poem which wasn't written with anyone in mind. I wrote it for a friend who needed something of this kind and then he didn't use it because his nerve failed. Well I couldn't help him with that. Anyway here it is -

In Words

Love has no mercy
Love has no cure
Love has no limit
Love like mine so pure

With each passing day
And with each moment trickling by
My growing love brightens
Yet, each day I resign with a sigh

I feel you presence all the time
I take your name in every breath
I see you image through the day
My love is deep, the ocean's depth

My passion can no longer rest
in my heart alone
The truth I have been putting off
overflows, cannot be postponed

Mere words cannot begin to tell
My heart's burning desire
Love stronger than I ever felt before,
it blazes like a wildfire

For someone who had aided me
when I had lost all sense
It's someone who remained a friend
in times so troubled and tense

My time has come
I'm sure i can't wait any longer
My love lays before you -
Purer , Deeper , Stronger.

Not so good, by own standards I think.

The ideal post nears an end with this fantastic song...It's Shiver by Coldplay.

Ok so, that's pretty much everything folks.
May almost managed to evade me but I got it in the end.

The pending lqotm was the only thing that drew me towards my blog. Now as I've sat down to write there's an unnatural energy coursing through my veins (supplemented well by the song On Fire by Switchfoot playing right now on wmplayer) which directs me to write a proper sized post this very instant. The only hitch is that I've nothing in mind on which to write about.

So this is awkward.

Well my bro's here again from his last semester at BITS and he's got all the media and software that can be squeezed into his ext hardrive. A lot many movies too, of which I've seen a few, the notable ones being The Last king of Scotland, Kung-fu Panda, Pulp fiction, Mithya and The Number 23. I really wanted a few more stuff. If you've got any of these, please tell me -

1> Star Wars battlefront (PC game)
2> Back to the future 3 (movie)
3> Drillbit Taylor (movie)
4> Taxi Driver (1976 film)
5> House MD (TV Series)
6> Flight of the Conchords (TV Series)
7> Adobe Photoshop (software)

...because my brothers not going back now as his last year is an out-of-college internship, so no more LAN downloads.

Well now back to life. I used to think once the hols started, I'd be blogging even more frequently than before like maybe twice a week, but the reverse was true strangely.
Not very strange once I figured out the logic behind the fact - When it's not summer vacation, blogging seems like a respite, a breath of fresh air; but when it is vacation time, in the period of a hot lazy day, writing a post seems like a gigantic task.
Aakash is going good, if anyone wants to know....
Now what? I can't write a poem now. I've got a few poems with me now though they aren't so good and worthy of publishing (all but one, which is very good but too long for now).

Now for the lqotm, for those who can't wait to get it over with (like me) -

"When it starts to infiltrate your dreams and your art, you know it's something serious"

Don't dismiss it as philosophical mumbo-jumbo, think about it. Better still - sleep on it. Maybe it might creep up into your dreams.


I should really write a post, now.

Well since i'm here, congrats to ani, ravi and aditi on their flowery appointee titles and all that.

that's that, i think.

I think therefore it is

Futile measures

If I close my eyes
will this not be?
If I don't complain
will it be good for me?
If I turn away
will the massacre stop?
If I look to console
won't the hatchet still drop?
If I try and conceal
would there have been no loss?
If I argue well
would the war have had a cause?
If I try not to feel
would I be dead?
If I paint a lovely picture
would there be peace instead?

All I could get out of today's psychology class. The entire thing written in record time - 49 seconds flat! So flat that all 49 seem like fifths.

There's a pun there, mind you. Don't trip over it.


It's all ok. Seriously..

So man, you're not here anymore.
Now my heart feels heavy and body seems sore
I tried not to cry and be a man
But that didn't go according to plan.

I thought of your jokes and that rascal smile
with your face in my mind all the while
From the memory of our fantastic friendship I learnt,
Now is precious , time shan't be burnt.

- To an unforgettable friend
(10 February 1992 to 20 April 2009)

just as a tribute, not as an advertisement. The very least I can do.

I'll appreciate it if there are NO comments asking what this is about.

PS - I just saw your mail Ankur, will reply as soon as I can, thanks.