The theme has been in my mind for a few days now, but I got the quote in a flash of insight while coming back from school by auto with friend (or rather friends) Chinmay.
Here it is, completely unrevised, primarily because I didn't get anything better than the original.

"The greatest mental agony a person can be subject to is having a secret
gnawing at his heart which he can't tell a soul"

Preferrably dark and involving clandestine liaisons. Justs so it hurts more.


Well. Taking hints from Ani and Espera I think I'll write this post in the form of points. Its a nice way to write stuff, especially when you have hordes of unconnected stuff you want to vomit out all at once without dwelling on one topic for too long. Also it helps to score better on answers in Bio.

1> Am a twelthy. Finally. Got the nod from the teacher after giving the Physics retest cos I was absent this time too. The physics teacher asked me why I was absent. 'I was ill' my regular excuse for most things ranging from not having eaten my lunch to sleeping in coaching.'Somehow physics always seems to make you ill.', the reply. You know, she may be on to something.
It's a nice feeling, being in twelfth and all (although..You know). As a friend put it - "We rule the school now". Dunno about that, but it does give you an almost tangible sense of power.

2> Have really taken to the song 'Pyaar ki Dastaan' from the movie Luck By Chance. Not really catchy but the first time I heard it, I thought it was beautiful.

3> Prostalgia. Yes, that's what I'll call this feeling (see last post). That's another word I've coined, now. Brings the tally upto a splendid 2.

4> I've thought a great deal about it. I've almost decided what I'm going to say when it happens. I've even picked out the right haircut for the occasion.
I'm talking about giving a shot at the school council positions this year. School Publications and Chenab house. Never having done it before, the interview used to freak me out. But now it's (gulp) all cool.

5> I think I'll start a new gadget for this blog. Polls.

6> Something needs to be done about the school's alumni society. I heard that it's almost defunct (notice how that rhymes with de-funked? Pardon me for that). It has to be revamped, reinvented. I don't want to be that sad little man who's searching the internet and social network sites for all his school friends he's lost contact with. I think registration should be made compulsory, open and more student friendly. What say, anybody with me?

7> Checked my BMI after I read one of Espera's posts. Decent really - 20.2.

8> My hair is, at the moment the best it's ever been. Not too short, neither too long and rather wavy.

9> I've decided to get rid of my all-too-noticeable moustache sometime soon. It takes the attention away from my nose (which is, I think, rather purdy) and people stare me as if there's a dead caterpillar on my upper lip.

10> Discovered all episodes of Jeeves and Wooster on youtube, which in turn led me to find the A bit of Fry and Laurie series as well. See them if they suit you. Search "Lauriefan 109" on youtube.

11> AV has strted blogging! Check out

Well I'll be back next time with the LQOTM.

The Cure for Insomnia

Though I've just passed 11th standard and have a whole year ahead of me in school, I can't help but muse about the farewell. What I feel can be described as a goulash of regret and pseudo-nostalgia about the inevitability of it all. There must be a word for it because it's such a common feeling, atleast it is for me. It's sort of like nostalgia about the future or things that haven't yet finished. Like wasting your life by worrying about death. Pointless, but hard to push back.

Last night, I made up a dialogue of sorts,lying in my bed not feeling sleepy enough to nod off. You may draw any kind of inference you wish to, but it's better if you don't and just well, try to live it.

BOY: (walking upto GIRL, throwing his best smile) Would you care to walk with me?

GIRL: Uh-uh, okay.

BOY: The Farewell. Usually a depressing occasion isn't it?

GIRL: ...

BOY: (waving his glass in the general direction of the school building) The institution. Friends. Teachers. Gonna miss it all. Gonna regret things you never did. Regert things you never said. Is there something you'll regret that you never did?

GIRL: ahhh...

BOY: Well, there is something of that kind for me.

GIRL: What?

BOY: I know this is the worst time to do it, this being the farewell and all; But I just have to do it, you know?
Listen.I've had a crush on you for like 4 years and well, I could never tell you because (throws up hands in the air) I don't know.Well, I've said it now and you have four general options before you.
(walking around the girl in a very dramatic manner) Option A is 'I hate and you I never want to see you again, go drown yourself'

GIRL: (laughs)

BOY: Well then (laughs). Option B is 'I like you but I don't think it'll work between us'
Now option C is 'I've always loved you and now I love you even more and can't wait to throw myself into your open arms'. Remember that's option C.
(still walking) And option D is 'I think I need some time to think this over. Talk to me in a week'

GIRL: ....

BOY: So?

GIRL: This is so awkward.. Well I'll have to say, option

She could either make it rhyme or make it lyrical.

I stopped thinking after that. The result doesn't matter really. What matters is the boy got that off his chest.

Don't ponder over that much. It's drivel. Instead listen to the nice, jumpy and optimistic song 'New Shoes' by Paolo Nutini.